She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
In case this wasn't clear when i said being his wingman was "hopeless", his date walked out on him when he poured a beer on his head trying to shotgun it
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
tell me about the fingering
if I start to respond to these political texts with a middle finger emoji - do you think they will get the hint?
Randomize
