so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
Brb crying the tears of my youth
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!