i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
Randomize