Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
You took acid last night and I’m up early to go to the grand opening of a new TJMaxx by my house. We couldn’t be more perfect.
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
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