So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
My dinner guests were so drunk they never realized that I inadvertantly put Frosted Mini Wheats on the salad instead of crutons.
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
nothing says "fuck you jocks from high school my life is better than yours" like bringing 5 grand in 20s to the bar
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
Randomize
