Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
Convinced the bartender that I'm a congressman. Free Drinks. God bless America.
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
I bet the guy on the treadmill next to me with the noise-canceling headphones wishes he could trade them for smell-canceling noseplugs. Hard to believe that last one did not involve any pants-shitting on my part.
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
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