I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
I almost had sex at the fire station last night and I need you to acknowledge all the awesomeness that is in that sentence.
Randomize