brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
I party with great urgency now.
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
Randomize
