Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
Randomize
