PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
Randomize
