She just texted me saying, "I wish you were a better person so I could fuck you without regrets"
I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
I went to the bathroom like 8 times and each time I looked in the mirror and tried saying "I am sober." I burst out laughing when I got to "so-" every time. If you can't convince yourself, you can't convince anyone else. Fuck it, I'm going upstairs and drinking more.
You make your fellow Jews happy.
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
Randomize