There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
Randomize
