I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
Randomize
