Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
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