You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
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