i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
She made me walk a straight line to prove i was sober enough to help carry you to the car
Knowing you it was perfect out of spite. Like. A line straighter than YOU
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
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