I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
Randomize
