Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
Randomize
