Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
Whatever my ex gf's roomates talked shit about me so I jizzed in their shampoo bottle one night
Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
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