U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
I just heard myself say the sentence "I'm gonna go to the bank then take a nap". 8 year old me just slapped my present self through the space-time continuum for being an old fuck.
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
Randomize
