Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hate it when the guy who runs the chicken and waffles truck is convinced that I run a cult.
that is the opposite of a normal text message.
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
I wish there was a tumbleweed emoji. Because that would describe my vagina.
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
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