There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
Randomize
