You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
I'm way too hungover for life right now
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
Randomize
