Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
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