Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
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