i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
I told my mom happy mother's day then rubbed my belly and said "Oh, and happy grandmother's day too..." She started sobbing. You were right, that wasn't the best way to tell her.
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
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