who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
Why are all the lights on in my house? Every single one. Someone should turn them off but I'm the only one here and I'm sure as hell not doin it.
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
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