@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
She's just so happy...and so naked.
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
Randomize
