im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
I'd cum for enchiladas.
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
Randomize
