You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
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