The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up to a note written on my hand that read "just because he kisses you, doesn't mean you have to sleep with him"
next time, write it on your vagina so its more effective.
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
Randomize