I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
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