Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
Randomize