I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
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