i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
Left my ID again and at a Giant's game. This is the second time they accepted my handgun safety certificate as proof of ID to buy beer.
I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
Randomize
