just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
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