i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
Randomize
