yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
Randomize
