Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
Randomize
