i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
Randomize
