She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
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