Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
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