im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
Just yelled out loud for someone to buy me a drink, 30 seconds later random guy on grindr asks what I'm drinking.
There's a 98% chance your drink will taste like rohypnol
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
Randomize
