come pick me up. please. i just puked in my lap. bring pants.
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
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