You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
Boobs are out for the taking
You grabbed the hot guy that was making out with his girlfriend all night, slurred "I need to borrow this" then shoved your hand down his pants. All because you thought your ex walked into the bar. It was majestic in its shitshowness.
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
Randomize
