That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
I was the only open register tonight and I just sold condoms and chocolate frosting to the ex..
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
Randomize
