Why did I call the Oregon Department of Transportation at 4:30 in the morning, and who did I talk to for three minutes?
Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
Apparently nothing brings out sympathy in a barista like asking if they have a hangover special
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
