At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
and eventually we just all took our pants off
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
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