covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just imagine me sitting naked on a toilet with a fully-clothed dude i havent seen in 2 years, trying to make normal conversation except that im covered in blood and he's helping wipe me down while i try not to pass out because blood makes me NERVOUS. And he's apologizing and i'm apologizing.
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
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