I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
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