I just heard a mom tell her toddler son "shut the fuck up. Don't ask me to buy you shit when i'm taking u to go see some fucking animals" welcome to the bronx.
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
Randomize