She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
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