Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
Randomize
