So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
So I called her out for all the gossip she does and she's like "you do the same, bitch"
So I was like "Im classy like the Countess, youre just a bitch like Kim."
Kudos on the Interstate Housewife metaphor.
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
Hi. This might be awkward, but I met you on saturday at about 330 am. I have to admit I don't remember your name, what we talked about, or various details of how I got home. What I do remember is that I was invested enough in getting your number to ask my cab driver for a pen to write it down since my phone was dead. So do you want to meet, soberer, some time?
Hey bro I think you got the wrong number I'm a dude
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
That's how pantless uber rides happen
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
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