She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
We don't watch enough power rangers
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
not ubering you a puppy
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
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