so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
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