i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
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