I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
Ketchup is God's man juice
it's not cheating when I paid for it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
I’ll call you in a minute. Trying to book an AirBnB so I can finally bang the yummy guy from yoga
Your downward dog is going to rock his cock. I’m jealous
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