Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
MOMMMMMMMMMMAYYY! YOU BIRFED ME TODAYY. IM CELEBRTIN ON YUR BEHAF! THANK YOU!!!!!
I always hoped you would never inherit this side of my personality. Hon, trust me, you're a mess. Go to bed...alone. xoxoxo
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
Randomize