His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
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I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
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I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
You peed on a flamingo?!?
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