no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
Randomize
